How to spot financial abuse and avoid getting swindled
THE STACK #7Have you seen the new documentary on Netflix - The Tinder Swindler?
If you've been on the internet for about 2 seconds the last few days, you may have heard of this documentary that has the whole internet clutching its pearls.
If you have yet to see the show, I'll try to avoid spoiling it too much for you, but the gist is that it's about Simon Hayut, a con man who according to the show, defrauded about 10 million from various women.
He met these women on dating apps posing as Simon Leviev, the son of a billionaire who owned a diamond business.
He would spend the first few dates taking these women on lavish dates, buying expensive gifts and flying them out on a private jet.
Eventually, he would start singing a different tune, saying that he has a lot of enemies in his business that are after him and that he needs some money to lay low.
This show made me agitated and cussing at the TV the entire time.
photo credit: female invest
While everyone and their mum claim that "It wouldn't be me," what many people are missing are all the warning signs of financial abuse.
Like any abuse, it's hard to think clearly when you're knee-deep in it, especially when you dive in fully with your heart.
And let's be honest....you may not have taken out a £250,000 loan for someone you claim to love, but at some point in our lives, we've all done some really stupid things in the name of love.
So let's get into it...
THE STACK
WARNING SIGNS OF FINANCIAL ABUSE
1. Wanting to take care of their partner
For abusers, taking care of their partner has nothing to do with actually caring for them.
It's all about having 100% control in the relationship.
They want their partner to feel like they cannot survive without them.
They control all the money coming into the household and don't give their partner access to any accounts.
They dictate how the money should be spent and pay all the bills.
They have no problem spending money on their partner, but they'll never give them the cash or any access to the funds.
Some of the warning signs could be them frequently saying:
"I know what's best for you."
"You wouldn't survive without me."
"I made you who you are."
Unfortunately, women with this fantasy of wanting a prince charming to care for them become the primary target of these abusers.
We saw some of this in Simon Whateverhislastnameis and Cecilie; she easily fell quickly for him because she'd always wanted a prince charming, and Simon brought the whole charm.
2. Wanting to be taken care of
Another sign could be when one partner relies on the other to take care of them without any input.
They guilt trip their partner into sending them money and paying their bills and might occasionally even ask the partner to go into debt for them.
If the partner refuses, they blame them for all their issues.
They make the partner feel like they are the only ones who can help them.
If the partner refuses to help them, it means that the partner doesn't care about them or has deserted them.
They highlight every single good deed they've ever done for you to make you feel even worse.
Financially independent women looking to start a family might fall prey to this. This was part of Simon's MO.
3. Asking you to go into debt for them
1000%; this is always a red flag.
Anyone that wants what's best for you will never ask you to borrow on their behalf.
We as humans like to be trusting in general and love to give people the benefit of the doubt. However, you should be very wary of anyone who asks you to go into debt for them, no matter the circumstance, especially when the request happens more than once.
There's no pain as deep as paying off someone's debt you're no longer in a relationship with 😩
Financial abuse is real and hard, and it's not as easy to spot as other forms of abuse. It takes a lot of courage, external support and firm boundaries to stop this type of abuse from happening.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing financial abuse, it's important not to shame them and give them a lot of grace.
THE TOOL
Financial abuse doesn't only happen to romantic partners; it can also occur between you and friends or family members.
You might have a family member or members who will not stop mooching off of you. That is also a form of abuse.
One of the most releasing words you can ever say is "NO."
This book by Henry Cloud helps you learn how to establish boundaries with people close to you without feeling guilty.
THE ACCOUNTABILITY
Have you updated your beneficiaries on all your accounts?
Take the time this week to ensure that you have a beneficiary named for your RRSP, TFSA, RRIF and all other important accounts.......and also make sure that your ex isn't still listed as your beneficiary. 🥴
THE COURAGE
THE KNOWLEDGE
TYPES OF BENEFICIARIES FOR AN RRSP
There are two main types of beneficiaries you can list on your RRSP.
A Successor:
This has to be a spouse. Your RRSP can be transferred directly to the RRSP of your spouse when you pass away. They will not have to pay income tax at the time of your passing. However, they will still pay income tax when withdrawing from the RRSP.
A Beneficiary:
At the time of passing, your RRSP will be dissolved, added to your income, and taxed based on the fair market value of your investments. Your named beneficiary will then receive the remaining value of your RRSP.
That's it for this week's STACK!
Talk to you next week,
But until then...don't let nobody take you fieeediot!
Keep Stacking!
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